March 2019
Voting has now closed for this contest. The winner was Harris Tobias (Entry Two) with 85% of the vote. Well done, Harris!
Entry One
“Here, try on this slipper,” said the Prince to Cinderella. “And no cheating. You cannot trim it down until it fits.”
“No need to cheat, Your Royal Highness,” said Cinderella. “I lost the slipper at last night’s palace ball in my haste to be home by midnight. Sire, have you come to take me back with you? Shall I fetch my cloak?”
“Perhaps not,” shrugged the Prince. “I’m thinking all this palaver is too damned predictable. I shall throw another ball tonight and see what turns up. But you may keep the slipper.”
“I should flaming well think so!” Cinderella snapped. “It is MY blasted slipper after all, you horrible little man!”
“Charming,” sniffed the Prince.
Entry Two
After the three bears caught Goldilocks trespassing, they reverted to type and tore her to pieces. They ate what they could and scattered what was left of her into the woods. They then went on about their bearish business.
Several hours later, a family of buzzards, sensing carrion, landed on her decomposing corpse. Father vulture dipped his bald head deep into Goldilocks’s chest cavity and pulled out her liver. After eating a few bites he announced, “This liver is too fresh.” He then flew into the nearest tree and waited.
Mother vulture tore out an eyeball and swallowed it down. She hesitated for a moment before tearing out the other one. She licked her beak and declared, “These eyeballs are too old.” She then flew into the same tree and waited.
Baby vulture ripped into the rotting remains and tore off a sizeable strip of flesh. He gulped it down and ripped off another. “Mmmm mmm,” he said at last, “I think this carrion is just right.”
Mother and father vulture, unwilling to leave the entire feast to their offspring, reconsidered their hasty opinions and joined him in the meal. After a while the vulture family flew off leaving behind nothing but a young girl’s bones.